Radically Retarded Academic Research

This article in the Salt Lake Tribune made me want to claw my eyes out:

The endlessly cheerful, excruciatingly nice, all-American image of Mormons in pop culture is not necessarily good news for a church that was once known for its radical nature. In fact, it may indicate that anti-Mormonism has won.

That is what Dennis Potter, professor of religious studies at Utah Valley State College, argued in his presentation, “The Americanization of Mormonism Reflected in Pop Culture,” on Thursday at the Annual Sunstone Symposium.

Potter built his thesis on three points: early Mormonism was radically opposed to all 19th century power structures; contemporary Mormonism has been so assimilated into American culture as to be often held up as the prototype for good citizens, and its radical theology (such as communitarian economics, importance of Mother in Heaven and the idea of becoming gods) is slowly eroding away.

And what powerful empirical evidence — no doubt painstakingly researched over many sabbaticals — does Professor Potter offer up in support?

An episode of South Park made more than three years ago. No freakin’ joke:

Potter uses an episode of the irreverent animated series, “South Park” called “All About the Mormons” as Exhibit A.

The 22-minute script tells the story of Gary and his Mormon family who arrive in South Park. Gary is introduced to his classmates as “state champion in wrestling and tennis,” with a 4.0 grade point, and featured on two national commercials for toothpaste. He’s blond, of course.

Shoot me dead now. This is by far the dumbest thing I’ve read all day — which is hard to believe since I just finished reading through the Pimp My Snack “controversy.”

On behalf of the good people found most everywhere, I present a formal rebuttal:

• I’ve heard both polygamy and godhood discussed in-depth during Sunday School in wards separated by 1,200+ miles in the last 30 days.
  
• He teaches at UVSC? Hahahah. Only potheads, non-RMs and skanks rejected from BYU go there.
  
• South Park is, occasionally, a funny show. But a show that features a conversation between Oprah’s vagina and anus for 30 minutes cannot be used as academic research. Nope, sorry but nice try, Dennis!

Now, its my turn to pretend to be an academic and explain the Church’s slippage into the mainstream:

1. The Church is a lot like McDonald’s. Carefully marketed and franchised across the world. Same buildings, same materials and same rules — expert quality control.
2. Why is that relevant to anything? In order to craft a careful product image you have to downplay the “less desirable” elements that comes with the package. Ie, polygamy, godhood, et cetera.
3. Which of course means the leaders of the Church are business savvy. You can’t open people’s minds to your organization if its stigmatized by far-out beliefs that overshadow the core principles.

All that took me less than a minute to “research” and write-up. Give me another and I could dump it into Power Point.

Booyah! Instant academic research!

The one premise Potter’s work does support: Why the annual Sunstone Symposium needs to be bombed so these blow hards are put out of their misery once and for all.

Is there really anyone that would miss these lunatics besides their orphaned egos?

August 18th, 2006 in Current Events |