Yes, he’s really that hard-up

Orson Scott Card, author of Ender’s Game and a whole bunch of other books that generally no one gives a crap about, is a political junkie.

What many people are unaware of is that Card is also a bloody psychic. Put the two together and you get this:

Yes, that’s the U.S. capital building in the background.

Yes, the title is “Empire.”

Yes, our worst fears have been realized: Orson Scott Card has officially lost his marbles and conceived of a way to have the Red States and the Blue States duke it out in an arena a little more grandiose than Battle School.

To be fair, he’s a way better writer than you and I will ever be. He’s also smarter, better looking, more financially solvent and odds are more spiritual.

What I’m trying to say here is that he’s a tough talking, individualistic kind of guy who even admits to watching rated R movies — which probably demotes him straight to the Telestial Kingdom or something, so he’s cool in my book.

Except this book is completely and totally crazy.

Example:

“Oh, Soldier Boy, you poor lad,” said the professor character that represents Orson Scott Card’s right wing views. “The American idea was thrown out with Social Security. We nailed the coffin shut with group rights. We don’t want individual liberty because we don’t want individual responsibility. We want somebody else to take care of us. If we had a dictator who did a better job of it than our present system, then as long as he pretended to respect Congress, we’d lick his hands like dogs.”

Or this fine sampling of emotionally-charged dialogue:

“Sir,” said the young urchin symbolic of OSC’s lost innocence, “if civil war is a necessary precursor to the end of democracy –”

“The façade of democracy.”

“Then it means our republic, such as it is, is safe. Because we don’t have warlords. We don’t have private armies.”

“You mean ’so far,’” the OSC professor-in-sheeps-clothing character said at once. “You mean ‘that we know about.’”

Toss in an ethnically diverse tough-as-nails wife, a junior flunkie who thinks and acts just like the main character and a bunch of subplots that probably rip off every Tom Clancy novel ever written, and booya — you’ve got EMPIRE!

The only thing I want to see is if Card actually breaks down and writes an ending to one of his books for once.

November 11th, 2006 in Current Events |